This post is less political. I just wanted to write my way through my thoughts and feelings as the reopening of the Century 16 movie theater is imminent. I hope that reading this encourages you to explore your own thoughts regarding fear, family, grief, anger and forgiveness. I hope you take some time to share those thoughts with the people in your life.
I grew up in Aurora, Colorado. Even after reaching adulthood, I gravitated back and chose Aurora to raise my family. Sadly, I have seen my hometown all over the national news this year, and not for the right reasons.
As the sun was rising on my daughter's 7th birthday, my phone buzzed. I rolled my eyes because my sister worked overnights and would occasionally text on her lunch break at work, which was still an hour or two before I wake. I fumbled in the dim light of dawn to find that the text was not from her. It was from a friend. All it said was, "You guys weren't there, were you?" Confused, I roused my self from sleep and turned on my laptop. It was that moment that I learned that my neighbors, my city and my fellow human beings had been through hell as I slept. By now we all know the details. I won't rehash them here. I assured my friend that we were ok. I took to social media to check on the well-being of others. My friends are movie people, my friends are superhero people, my friends are midnight showing people. A quick look at social media showed me that the usual suspects all seemed to be accounted for. Next my thoughts turned to the hour in front of me. My children would be bouncing into the room any minute, and finding mommy in tears would definitely raise questions. I woke my husband, updated him on the news and we figured out what to do.
When the girls came in, we celebrated a birthday! We had a breakfast picnic on mommy's bed and had a few minutes of normalcy. Then it was time to tell the girls what happened. The girls were heading to a summer program in a theater (performance, not movie) and we knew that with them surrounded by young tweens and teens they were going to hear about the events. We decided that our best angle was to tell them as honestly as possible. Of course we left many details out, we kept it pretty basic. It went something like, "There was a bad man who shot lots of people. Everyone we know is safe (though that didn't turn out to be entirely true.) You are safe. Mommy and Daddy just wanted to talk to you before you were blindsided at your summer program." And we held them. And we answered their questions. And we all cried.
One of my favorite activities before kids was catching midnight premieres of movies. My husband and I have seen many at the Century 16, having had various friends that worked there over the years. The excitement of a midnight show, as you wait too long in line with other movie geeks and wedge into seats shoulder to shoulder is a unique experience. I do think my enjoyment of future midnight movies has been affected. I can't see sitting through a midnight showing without being distracted by thoughts of July 20, 2012.
We did go back to the movies as quick as we could after the events. It seems to have worked at stemming the fear of movies for both me and my children. We plan to return to the Century as it reopens. It will be sad, it will be stressful to walk through those doors for the first time. To know we are standing were so much sadness and horror took place. But good will prevail. We will show the world what Aurora is made of. We will show that life goes on. We will find joy with other movie patrons. We will remember our innocent neighbors so violently torn from our society. We will send love to the injured and the families and our other neighbors that are grieving. We will carry on. We will come together to show that we are more resilient, connected, and compassionate than we were before.
